the time keeper

“Try to imagine a life without timekeeping. You probably can’t.

You know the month, the year, the day of the week.

There is a clock on your wall or the dashboard of your car.

You have a schedule, a calendar, a time for dinner or a movie. Yet all around you, timekeeping is ignored.

Birds are not late. A dog does not check its watch. Deer do not fret over passing birthdays.

Man alone measures time. Man alone chimes the hour. And, because of this, man alone suffers a paralyzing fear that no other creature endures.

A fear of time running out.”

― Mitch Albom, The Time Keeper

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90 days in

I’ve learned quite a bit about what kind of person I am over the last 90 days.

Side note. People say that time flies. I don’t really feel that. The last 90 days have felt like the longest 90 days of my entire life. This school feels like home- it feels like I’ve been here forever. I suppose that’s a blessing(?)

Anyways- here are some things I’ve discovered about myself that have surprised me.

  1. I like being perceived as someone who is interesting and fun. To be frank, I do think I’m interesting and fun. But lately I’ve realized that my worst fear is being boring.
  2. I was afraid that I’d be homesick, but I’ve discovered that I don’t get homesick easily. I miss places and I miss my family, but it’s not the kind of missing that leaves me with constant heartache. I think that I have a free-spirit heart, a wanderlust heart, a heart that isn’t easily tied down.
  3. Time is so precious and temptations are so…tempting…basically, I should stop skipping class in favour of sleep.
  4. There are a lot of smart people here. I expected it but nothing quite prepared me for the real thing. As someone who was used to being #1 in everything this was quite jarring. I still feel comfortable- I’m quite a bit above average- but there are so many more driven, intelligent people here
  5. East coast mentality is real. Growing up on the west coast, I do feel that some of the stereotypes are true
  6. I love my roommates. I wonder if I’m annoying at times. I come home the latest, am the loudest, am the clingiest, and cause a lot of trouble sometimes (especially on Friday and Saturday nights). Am I hard to live with? Could definitely be a possibility.
  7. Life is a lot of hard work unfortunately I hate this but I am also good at working hard
  8. Long distance relationships are always harder than you think they will be and it’s not a very good idea to enter first year first semester cuffed
  9. I feel quite bad about not contacting my parents as much as I should. I know I’ll regret this one day. I should call them more often. I love them more than anyone else in the world
  10. I am the type of person to feel more emotion than most people do. Namely, I fall in love harder and quicker. I get angry easily and won’t hide it. I cry a lot and become emotional at silly things. I’m usually very happy and will show this.

Causes worth dying for

‘But there are causes worth dying for,’ said Butterfly.

‘No, there aren’t!  Because you’ve only got one life but you can pick up another five causes on any street corner!’

‘Good grief, how can you live with a philosophy like that?’

Rincewind took a deep breath. ‘Continuously!’

-Terry Pratchett, Interesting Times

A girl facing the unknown

…. aka a reflection of my state of mind as I leave the west coast and move to the east for university. Mostly excited, a little apprehensive, and prematurely homesick. 

I am thankful that I have something so precious that it pains me to say goodbye. Not everyone is lucky enough to have that.

 

My hair fell down my back in a waterfall of loose, haphazard curls. A circlet of some exotic wood nestled on my head, and rose pigment sparkled on my eyelids. This was as presentable as I would ever be. With a deep breath, I left my room, taking care not to stumble in my too-high heels.

“You look lovely today, darling,” Ila murmured as she fell into step beside me. Her servant’s dress had been replaced with a clean, cotton shift embroidered with tendrils of ivy and orange flowers. Her cheeks were bright with powder.

“So do you.” I couldn’t help but let my nerves show a little. My fingers balled up into fists.

Observant as ever, Ila patted the small of my back. Her hands, light as a bird’s touch, were warm and comforting. “It’s nothing to be scared of, sweetling. It’s just something new, that’s all. Something different. Change isn’t a bad thing.” I nodded mechanically, but my fears were plainly still evident in my expression, for Ila continued her quiet reassurances. “Let go of your misgivings and unfounded worries, Fina. The experience is what you make of it. And for what it’s worth, I think- I know– that you’re going to end up loving it.”